What Is IFS Therapy? And Is It Right For You?
You've always been someone who thinks deeply — about yourself, about the world, about why you do the things you do. You can analyze your patterns, yet knowing doesn’t seem to change anything. You still find yourself saying yes to things you don’t have energy for, shutting down in the same conversations, pushing yourself past your limits for reasons you can't fully explain.
You’ve tried talk therapy before. And it helped for a while. But after the rush of insight you still find yourself in spaces where you feel small, in relationships where you continue to lose yourself, in patterns you were hoping would finally end. You’ve learned how to name, notice, and analyze what’s happening but haven’t developed practices that help you show up differently. You feel like if you were to go beneath the surface, you would find something that actually shifts.
A part of you suspects that what's underneath all of this is not what you've been told — not a flaw, not a disorder, but a part of you that has been doing its best to keep you safe. Through IFS Therapy, that’s where we start.
Exploring the parts that protect us.
When you think about how you show up in the world, you might think of the part of you that avoids correcting family members when they say “special friend” in reference to your partner. It’s possible you think of the part of you that thinks you should be over your loss by now. It may even be a part that you don’t want to think about — the one that blows up or shuts down around the ones you love. IFS Therapy calls these parts, and each one has an intention and a role in keeping you whole.
There are parts of you that are proactive, helping you navigate daily life. Parts of you that are reactive, helping you numb or distance yourself from overwhelming emotions. And the parts that carry pain, fear, and trauma they never asked to hold. Underneath all of these parts is your Self, the one that was never damaged — only buried beneath the pain.
Through IFS, we build a relationship with your parts rather than fighting them. We explore where they came from, how they show up today, and what they might need in order to take a break. To rest. Sometimes it means hearing a story that hasn’t been told, sitting with a fear, or revisiting a memory so that it holds less weight. The goal isn’t just insight — it’s about building your stamina to be with discomfort so that you can lead from within.
How IFS brings change.
IFS is guided by four interconnected goals: liberation, self-trust, integration, and expansion. Liberation helps the parts of you that took on protective roles to survive step into something new — genuine safety, confidence, and curiosity. Self-trust helps the parts of you that criticize and judge you ease back, making more space for you to rebuild a relationship with yourself grounded in compassion and honesty. Integration helps all your parts practice working together, instead of one part taking over. Expansion invites the parts of you that value connection to carry healing outward — into your relationships, your community, and the wider world.
The relationship that you build with your parts, and with yourself, is filled with patience, curiosity, and repair. Like anything new, there will be challenges, and parts of you may push back. There may be some that aren’t ready. In IFS Therapy, we take the time to be with the fears that come up around change instead of bypassing or reframing them. When we push through to try to reach any of the four goals, we can cause more harm and distrust within ourselves. Intention helps us tend to what needs our attention. Slow is fast.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Most traditional talk therapy works primarily with thoughts and behaviors — understanding them, reframing them, changing them. IFS works with the parts underneath those thoughts and behaviors. Rather than trying to change a pattern directly, IFS asks where it came from and what it needs. Many clients who found CBT helpful but incomplete find that IFS takes the work further.
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BIPOC and LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy isn’t an add on in my work, it’s the core of it — and I bring that to IFS Therapy. I believe who you are, where you come, and how systems impact your lived experience is integral to understanding how you navigate the world. Together, we work to understand how your parts have developed and protected you in the context of the entirety of you.
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Yes — IFS is effective for trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, and PTSD. Through IFS Therapy, we work with the parts of you that make you feel overwhelmed, dissociate, and experience flashbacks.
Together, we explore the pain these parts are trying to protect you from and explore what they need to regain a sense of safety.
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IFS is the foundation of my work and informs how I work with every client. I also incorporate grief therapy, somatic therapy, expressive arts, and the Gottman Method (for couples work). For those navigating intergenerational trauma, cultural grief, and identity I draw on my training in Multicultural Counseling and Ethnic Studies.
In my work I integrate all these modalities — they are anchors that deepen IFS work, help me meet clients where they’re at, and with what each person needs.
Start IFS Therapy in Los Angeles
If you’re curious about what it might be like to build a relationship with your parts, reaching out is the first step. If any of this spoke to you and the parts of you that want to build insight, stamina, and compassion, fill out the contact form to schedule a free 20-minute consultation. No pressure, just a genuine conversation. We’ll talk what brought you here and whether IFS feels like the right fit.
Chris Datiles (he/him) is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and IFS therapist in Los Angeles — working with adults who give a lot and are ready to receive. Using Internal Family Systems, he helps clients understand the parts of themselves that have been working overtime, and what those parts need in order to finally rest. Specializing in LGBTQ and BIPOC adults and couples, he sees clients in person in the Arts District and online throughout California.